4.5.2016

A Long-Distance Mother?

The word “mum” is similar in many languages. It often starts with the letter “m”. The concerns of the mothers around the world are similar too. The majority of mothers want their children to be happy and healthy. Nevertheless, the families of some of them live in worse conditions than the others’. We want to make their life conditions easier for them… In the framework of the BanglaKids project you can support an individual child and his family in Bangladesh! For example, Mrs. Věrka has decided to support a girl who wants to become an accountant. Actually, that is also the profession of Věra. She decided to go to Bangladesh and see “her” girl...

How did you get to know about BanglaKids, and why did you decide to take part in that?

I get to know about Bangladesh two years ago. I attended a lecture of doctor Milan Moskala who traveled to Bangladesh and provided the locals with the elementary dental care. He talked knowingly about how the people live there and about the local poverty. His narration appealed to me so much that I decided to support the Bangladeshi people somehow.

After a time, I watched the web pages of BanglaKids and the possibility of sending donations to a particular child captured my attention. By that time, last year in early autumn, we started the construction of our house. There was need for money. So I was considering whether I should or should not. As I was going through the pages I saw a girl who wanted to be an accountant. I am an accountant. So I wrote that I wanted to support her.

And how did you come to travel to Bangladesh?

Approximately after two months of supporting Liza I got a letter asking whether I wanted to visit Bangladesh. I was so surprised! Bangladesh is my heart issue. I was pulled there, tempted to go. Even though I’m such a homebody. I used to sit home all the time, reading books. I’m rather an introvert. Moreover, Bangladesh is still a kind of backpack destination. But the idea caught me and I asked: Why not?

In spite of not speaking English you travelled to Bangladesh. Were you afraid? How did you feel in a country so far away without a possibility of communicating with the locals?

I was looking forward to Bangladesh in a way that I didn’t think about fear, absolutely not about the fear of the language. Actually, I knew that all my fellow-travellers spoke English. I believed they would help me, if needed. And I wasn’t wrong about that. 

You visited Liza immediately the second day after arriving to Bangladesh. Do you remember the first moment when you saw her and she saw you? Did she anticipate something?

Liza had been informed about my visit in advance, of course. After our arrival to the boarding school where she studies, we were invited to sit-down with the school director. Then, when we came out from the door, two “children” approach us and made that their “curtsy”. It means they bow in the way they touch the points of your shoes by the fingers of their right hand. I experienced that for the first time and I was so captured by that, that I didn’t “study” their faces. And suddenly I hear Anička standing behind me saying “Look, that’s Liza.” When I saw her face I recognized her immediately, remembering the photo I had. There were three of us and Liza continued being abashed for a while, as she didn’t know who was her visitor. But after getting to know it, she shook my hand and we started talking and the hesitation disappeared quickly. I can say that the meeting was nice, the kind you experience with a nearby person who you are looking forward to.

You walked together through the entire compound of the boarding school and Liza took you also to her parents’ house. There you got to meet the Liza’s mother and her younger brother. What was the meeting like? How did they welcome you?

In order that Liza lives near to the school, her mother came to the compound. She watched us from distance first. Subsequently, after introducing ourselves to each other we walked together to their house. The mother was young, kind and smiling as well as the brother. The father was at work. He works as a bus driver at the school where Liza studies. The mum is unemployed. I felt well at their place. It felt like visiting relatives.

How the mother reacted to your visit? Didn’t she perceive you as a “rival”?

Absolutely not! I experienced with her a kind of moving while. She thanked me with tears in her eyes for making it possible for her daughter to study (she is a first-year university student). She also said me that she appreciated supporting her. After that, we both were crying…

Liza looked really happy and proud with you. Were you talking about what your meeting meant for her?

Liza repeated several times that she was really glad that I could arrive to visit her. Yes, it was noticeable. We talked about the things we like, about our hobbies, what attract us. We found out that we have common interests. We both like reading, we are rather introverts, we like animals, we love the nature and walks through it. These mutual recognitions brought us even more close together.

Did the meeting with Liza in Bangladesh somehow change your relation with her? Did something surprise you?

Of course it changed! Now she isn’t for me just “a” Bangladeshi girl. She is a particular young lady who I have met personally, I have spoken with her, I’ve been with her at her place, hug her, met her family etc. In short, she is now a close friend, my “daughter”. I expect impatiently every letter from her and her achievements will make me happy, her concerns will affect me and I will pay attention to her life.

You travelled to Bangladesh with the heaviest piece of luggage of your expedition. It was full of presents for children. Did you enjoy the distributing of the presents?

As I have already said. I was looking forward to Bangladesh a lot. The most to the meeting with Liza and the children at schools. Naturally, I didn’t want to come empty-handed. I bought some small presents – tiny toys, pens, diaries, candies. I also asked my friends to help me to fill up the luggage. The result was that I got other pens, pencils, rubbers, diaries, notebooks, tiny promotional objects, souvenirs, candies, key cases, colouring pictures, coloured pencils, etc. At the end, it was really hard for me to get everything to the luggage. After weighing the luggage I had to take a box of wax crayons out. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to leave it home so I begged my fellow-travellers for help. They willingly split the wax crayons among themselves and with their help, I managed to transport everything I wanted to Bangladesh.

Did the children react in a similar way as the children in the Czech Republic?

I think children are same everywhere, as well as their reactions. They were really happy about the presents and they demonstrated it. They sucked the candies, showed up what they got. Some of them started painting at once, others were examining the presents, holding it in hands, preventing loosing it.

If you were bringing your child up in Bangladesh, what would be hard for you to come to terms with? What is significantly harder for the local mums in comparison with us?

I think that a lot of mums are troubled by the lack of the nutritious food and adequate health care.

And on the contrary, do you think there is anything in Bangladesh that the Czech mums don’t have? (For example the time, or so on)

Yes, first of all the time and the sufficient amount of the motherly love which is closely related with the time. Our mums are often employed and that is the reason why they don’t have that much time for their children. Paradoxically, they seem to me also more stressed. Logically, this could be reversely. In Bangladesh I liked how the mothers cradled the children in their arms. They aren’t depriving them of the touches and intimate body contact which are healthy for the children’s development.

What is your strongest memory from Bangladesh?

It is connected with the penultimate day there. We visited the slum of Chalantika in Dhaka. I saw there for the first time in my life a “broken” child. She was approximately five years old girl. She was really lovely but she had really sad eyes. It made me shiver. Altogether, she looked resignedly. It was hard to overlook her. She remained in our memories. Thereafter, we talked about her and Pavel showed interest in sponsoring her if possible. I hope he could do that through the mediation of the local ADRU. I wish that very much for her.

Do you think you were changed somehow by the experience from Bangladesh?

Of course I was. I appreciate much more the “granted” things. For example the fact that the tap water is clean - even hot, that the power failures aren’t common, that we have functioning sewerage system and I can buy everything in stores.

How do your husband and your grown-up son assess that? Do they notice a change in you?

They rooted for me and supported me in my decision. I appreciate that a lot. I think they don’t notice any change in me. They haven’t mentioned it at least. They know me the best and they know that seeing the misfortunes of others always made me very sensitive. After all, my son expressed that already before my departure. He said, half way exaggerating, something in the sense that it was good that I had bought return ticket because I was able to give away all the money I would have with me seeing all the poverty and I wouldn’t get back then.


More information about program Support BanglaKids

BanglaKids is a development program of ADRA Czech Republic.
Since 1999 we have provided education to 6,500 children in Bangladesh.
Together, we’re giving them an opportunity for a better future.

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